Saturday, August 14

Reasons to lose Faith

Many of us are leading lives forcefully as if we have no will to live. And of course, this is how one leads life. Without faith, without hope and without a will. A silent dark life, with no existence, no reason and no meaning. That’s what life becomes after some time after you get used to being alive. As for someone who has lost faith, life isn’t a term lively enough.

I am not an atheist, but I don’t believe in a “God”. I believe that the world is based on a mechanism. That’s it. That mechanism needs to be acknowledged in order to learn of existence. That’s all about my spiritual view. The idea of a personal God breeds more hatred than love. I don’t like religion. It causes manipulation of the minds and divides humanity.

Yes, I do put on a rudraksha and a gold ring with topaz. But that’s only to humor my mother, who is a strict believer of the term “religion” that I so detest. I most certainly, do NOT endorse such an act of stupidity, and one has the complete right to sanity. Religion is nothing but losing faith in oneself. It is half knowledge which is completely empty. The existence of most is limited to this nothingness. Praying for a better tomorrow. Well, what’d you do of tomorrow if there’s no life today?

I remember having prayed to sleep a sleep and never to wake up. But since, I don’t see my peace nearing, I’d rather lose faith in that prayer. My life, I don’t find it worth living. And why should it be? For living one needs a companion, an understanding and a hope. I have companion(s); i.e., family and friends; but no hope, and no understanding. Many a times when I say something, I have to interpret it in 15 different ways, only to be failed in conveying what I really need. How can I say what I want if I can’t make it clear what I need?

Now after reading this, people would feel that I am only under the pressure of life, a.k.a. depression (which, to assure I am not, as, depression is sadness, but I am most certainly not sad) or hallucinated (which indeed I am not, because I do not have any medium for that). Look, all I am trying to say is, losing faith, or not believing, or not wanting to be present are not crimes or “sins”. We all have a right to thought and a right to express it and not be preached. I know sooner or later atheists become agnostics, and agnostics retain faith. But for the time being, it’s best to let things be the way they are. Who knows? It could be for the better if not for worse. It’s better to be reborn a new self in a dead life rather than being pumped into false leads.

What else am I to say? My country has given it in it's constitution the freedom to practice, preach and follow any religion of choice. Then why do wars happen in name of religion? Why the unrest, the riots, the hatered, the enemosity? My best friend, she's a palestiniam mouslem. My family's a sanatan hindu. I am proud to say that she's an elder sister to me. I love her as a family. We don't even share the same language. But love doesn't speak a language, nor follows a religion, and nor is limited to a boundary. And nor is freedom. This Independence day of India (August 15), yours truly, a.k.a., me, plan to spend with my grandparents, read some poetry and study.

Saare jahaan se achha Hindustan hamaara (Our India better than rest of the world) was written by a Pakistani mouslem?




  1. Awww, shit, Neetu, this is so touching!
    But your views worry me Neetu, why the morbid tone? It seems like you're viewing your own life as if as of a third person's. Faith, I think one has to look for reasons to cling on, and if there aren't any, convince oneself that there are. Because sometimes its that one shred, that tiny string that will ultimately make your life worth living....:)
    To lose faith would be to live in despair, and I can't imagine you of all people doing that....:)

  2. Srishti: Losing faith is for better or for worse. Leaving all on time, as I don't know what's ahead. Right now, it's just monotony that forbids my hype.


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