Nature of Events

Perhaps the greatest bafflement to human civilization is “what now” but it’s a rhetoric question. Isn’t it? Hey, people, hoping you all are as awesome as you’ve been. I am at the moment too lazy to make up an excuse for my lack of posts. But then again, I couldn’t be a little less nonchalant (I prefer the word honest, though). That and I doubt if serious issues are within my range of thought to cover. So, lately my life has been a decent dosage of some minor education, and a lot of learning going on. Perhaps, it’s a superpresence in the experience again which makes one more aware, and thus results in more learning.

So, today, I came across one of those Mad Men episodes (God bless YouTube!), the one where Roger Sterling (the white haired immature funny twack) took LSD. I always found the nature of drug use peculiar. I mean, okay, say what you like, but the basic reason as to WHY people take drugs remains just a very basic “want” to experience previously unexperienced dimension. Look around the 60’s (the best time period, and all who existed back then and lived to see Woodstock, know that you have my envy) and you will see the fact that the basic essence was of a revolution, creation of ideas, Athenian/ Bohemian lifestyle. Any idiot was free to move around reciting poetry or doing something as peculiar. The fact behind that was a deeper introspection and a demand for social freedom. Now, to experience the fact that it “could” be there, the Utopia that they wanted, the basic freedom to be independent of systems, and requirements… that wasn’t there, but they wanted to know what it was if it “could” be like that. The need was to experience the “what-if” moments.

Besides the forbidden nature of what I would comprehend, drugs also resulted in some of the finest music/ artistic/ literary/ poetic/ philosophic bits of that particular era. One favourite that I would take the trouble to talk of, is Jim Morison. We know his heroin addiction and his glorified death at a very young age. But then again, he experienced what wasn’t there, also, there was this lesser known Doors song “Heroin” with the kind of background music which would glorify the affect of the drug. Jimmy Page, is another example. I do not mean lyrics, but he spoke a very different language altogether. If one goes by the nature of the movement of the strings, they can meditate upon a very personal dimension that influenced him. Page had a history behind his bits.

A funny thing was, that these people took drugs to understand the nature of what could be or what would be. They took it, they made artistic and intellectual contributions (that have been attributed to them under their Wikipedia pages, and the pages of their respective biographies), but then again, there wasn’t much of a contribution to the general society. I mean, that time period did bring a huge idea into existence, which has already been practically applied before, but also it brought about a separate idea into being that one can make much of a thought. Also, a thought which was pretty useless in the long run (debates upon the topic are welcome).

Somehow, the nature of drug usage doesn’t hold much appeal to me. I would like to put forth my views to the readers about something that isn’t permanent. Now, what I feel normally about these things is, that drugs can take you on a wishful thinking of the perfect paradise, but it doesn’t keep the paradise, and when you’ll snap out of it, you’ll see that your perfect palace in the air is standing on a cloud, and now that it’s time to rain, your palace HAS to fall. That’s just not it what the basic existence of your paradise is about. No! Your paradise is yours. And it has the right to exist. Especially in your own dimension. If you need an external crutch to place it there, it’s just not being fair to your own self. Think about it, if the nature of thought isn’t strong, how can it be an opinion?

Mind is a very complex device. It thinks, it understands, it interprets, it forms and yet it is also being present. But, the thought and an anxiety of wanting to feel that again, it kinds of cut you out of the present world, and that’s when you question yourself. “Is this what I wanted?” “Is this alright the way it is?” “I don’t like, I don’t have to live with it.” “I do NOT have to live with it.” “Is it even real?” “Is that really me?” Your philanthropic castle suddenly encloses you in its gates refusing to open, and you literally pray for the storm to come and blow away the cloud, so that you can jump to the abyss, except for, this abyss won’t take you higher.

I do not believe in fiddling with the mind. That’s being unfair to your own thought. Think about it, just how self focused you can become in a way that is self destructive!

I never tried drugs, nor do I want to. But I have known people in my school to indulge in drug usage (though they were very much too-young-for-it) and the other things that I didn’t understand the reason behind. Part of the reason why people go to drugs is the lack of education. We say that, this is heroine, you shouldn’t take it/ this stuff is forbidden/ it’s off limits/ it’s addictive/ it’ll kill you. Well, even Aspirin is as lethal. But instead of giving them reasons on why they shouldn’t do it, it’s better to say what it is, what effects it has, and why it has a certain effect, a positive effect that it can have, an alternate way to have a similar positive effect without the side effect (which I will mention). That way, you give an individual a choice, that way, and let them know what it will be rather than having them to dwell upon the “what-if”.

An alternate to drug use is meditation. Well, the reason why they are consumed in the first place is to experience bliss, or a previously unexperienced dimension. If proper meditation is conducted with all the means and measures that it is meant to be done with, you can understand a wider reason to what a short lived fantasy is about. That, and your castle in the air will get a chance to stand on a firmer ground. I mean, as I talk of it, I myself have underwent a meditation program which is a seven day program followed by a forty days progress cycle by the IshaYoga. (Yes they are commercialised, but at least they have something to offer that can help. Damn capitalists!) They call it Shambhavi meditation. I tried one of those modern meditations, but then again, their effect is very short lived. These people give you a very Vedic meditation which is (in my opinion) a longer lasting effect, and also, a core changing point. Also, to each their own. You can go for self hypnosis, or one of those recorded journals. Either way, their effect is to register your thought and have it noted. Not controlling it. We control it in our day to day life very subconsciously. The only way is to let itself free, but still know what you’re doing. That’s what you’re trying to do through drugs, Jodie. Let yourself free!

This timeline, the 2012 period of the century we exist in, has given a lot of bizarre events. Probably, most of them is what public hate, the disagreement between generations, everything going public, nothing being personal anymore, that there is not a corner on this planet which is remote anymore (at least the landmass, we still don’t know much of the oceans), and the only thing that we don’t know is the nature’s camaflouge (she has “problems”), and all sorts of unimaginable things. Thanks to the modern technological media, we know that everything is connected to everything else. In fact, we are moving too fast in time, right now, and we don’t know where this cycle will end so that the next cycle of events can take place. This particular time period is pretty much like the spreading of continents looking for lands to occupy different lands. As if, now that we have the knowledge, we might just as well as take whatever we want and define boundaries between us and them, and we are facing nature’s resistance, and some out of us telling us that our forced control is wrong. Soon, we’ll fight among ourselves for power and resources, after which there will be a huge disaster and a meltdown, thereof. Coming to think of it, the economic crisis is directly in resonance with the event of establishment of empires in foreign countries, also the melt down which initiated the First World War. So, in this one year of awareness, we are torn apart between a conservative outlook of privacy and a modern pull out of openness, and we are existing in the middle path of this even. While some are struggling to maintain the conservatism, the openness has more theoretic takers than the practical ones. The psyche is weaving a thread of thought around convenience and that’s where we are, what we want. It’s a castle in air that we are very consciously placing on clouds but not on our clouds, on someone else’s. It’s always easier to fall on someone else, isn’t it?

I am not elaborating upon the mechanism of working as of now because the nature of the thought is very much of a long and boring diatribe, also, it is very much still unconstructed. But as far as I can think of it for now, time is moving in a symmetry to itself. The universe is moving in a symmetry. They say Woodstock is a once in a lifetime event. Look at Greek Bacchantes, or the Indian Shamans! There have always been replications at different time periods, so what we consider as a once in existence phenomena is a recurring thing. It has happened and it will always happen, because that is the nature of working. Just the nature of observation is alter, because, one hadn’t experience the event in those ages, so they took it for something new, just as we might. But that’s the nature of human thought! That is the way mind works! It has always been there, and it will always be there. Period. The existence is a very recurring phenomenon which is always beginning and always ending. Some might consider it never ending. The modern physics still struggles on the nature of time, though.

Peace!

-Neetz

The Surrender: The only Road to the Suspension of Self

Hello Everyone,

How are you? I have (somehow) managed to take out time these days (whoever studied for English?) and got back to who I am. As in, blogging, and writing, and preaching, and selling faith. Actually, everyone sells something for some price, I sell my ideas at the cost of peace. I mean, I feel peaceful after letting my mind be see through.

I'm going to tell you all something very very weird. I was supposed to be dead by September 23, 2009. It is on that day when I got so tired of life that I had slit myself a little too deep. Yes, I was an emo kid, I used to wear black, I used to hate life, I used to hate living, I used to run away from everyone who loved me. I was an emo kid. Rather, a Gothic kid. A typically furstrated emokid. Anyway, I was supposed to be dead on that fateful day. I had almost died on that day. I had slit my vein so deep.

Why did you do that? I can hear you say.

I couldn't live with myself. The reason what everyone has to take such a step. Now this might seem quite like a paradox. But it is true. I mean, once in our life time we start to acknowledge the existence of this self, and we need to eliminate this prospective. At that time, I didn't know the difference between the I and the self. But when I had taken that step, I felt like I had fallen into a deeper hell. My loved ones trying to save me in some way or the other they intended to help. In that timeline when I was (supposedly) dying, I asked me the reason and had given the same answer, "I can't live with myself." But if I couldn't live with myself, that means there are two of me. But since I'm always addressed as a "one-piece", it's only one of them who's real.

Then I was gripped violently by this realisation, as if I have been taken by storm within me to a sacred place where I was being healed. I mean, I'm not aware what was going physically around me (my wounds were rather medically healed) but I am aware of whatever had been through my mind. By a sudden violent, but careful force I had been absorbed into a vortex leading to the void. I embraced light. I had an awe in my eyes. Seldom do people regain the innocence they lose in their life time, I had regained it at the right time. I saw the world like I have been here for the first time. I used to cling to my mother as if I'm a newborn. I never acknowledged the value of this woman in my life. I paid attention to each and everyword I heard, as if I'm just getting the meaning. I had started my life from a rather basic age again.

And that was it. I had started the process of elimination of self.

Now, how do I recognise the self?

It's a quite easy process actually. The self has worldly knowledge. A child is innocence only to the age of 5 (and this age is ceasing day by day, I fear). Then from 5, the process of schooling (something I totally sympathise about this modern age of Kalyuga) starts. We see friends (newly), teachers, homeworks and this self sprouts as a zygote, a nebula,  an embryo. This self begins from childhood, wanting to be something, to come to notice, to get a star, to learn counting, to learning alphabets, to winning in a race, to showing a certificate to mum and getting words of appreciation.

Then comes the prepubersent age of 12-13. The self becomes obsessive. Wanting to be a rebel in the eyes of other, wanting to do something different, wanting to stand out, wanting to see impossible dreams, fighting for subjects, arguing with parents, complaining about the system, suggesting the changes (which cannont be made).

When adulthood comes, this self wants a house, a car, a life, an identity and serves tooth and nail to have an idea of "class" (the self has been around to realise what it means to be in it). The self works day and night to earn an idea. This self gets married, has kids and then goes on  working hard for a "future" (which is actually beyond a human effort).

Finally when this self has retired and when we're left with the induvidual (the I) we realise that it's too late, or I am nothing. Many have realised that there was no point in being a cog in the wheel.

(Note: I am NOT saying to go to the Himalayas, be nude, make love or do drugs.)

I went to realise the self a little before the age came (thankfully) and set out to eliminate myself.

So, I sent out some men to fight,
And one came back at dead of night
Said he'd seen my enemy
Said he looked just like me
So I set out to cut myself,
And here I go...

No, not my words. But a basic introduction to fight the self. This self has expectations. I'm not saying that the self is doing wrong. The self is right but what do you think?

What do you mean what I think? I mean, it's a paradox!

Okay, do you have control of your brain? I mean surely, it's your brain that has control over you. Now this might again be a paradox, But it's your brain having a control over you! If it's impossible to believe, let's just have a test. Can you stop thinking? No, you obviously can't! I mean, maybe for a moment or so, but not completely. You can't surrender yourself to the moment. Even if you are silent, the mind is continuously thinking and if someone asks, "what are you thinking?" This self intentionally suspends the thought, knowing that the expression will bring out the induvidual and suspends it by saying, "nothing" or something that the person would want to hear (or a self assumption).

The Suspension of self. A thousand yogis, a dozens Paolo Coelho-s, a hudred Eckhart Tolle-s, countless spiritual leaders (including my personal favourites- Budhha, Osho and Rumi) have taught us to overcome the self in their own ways and we follow their ways but we fail to realise that the induvidual is prime. The induvidual is pristine. It's an innocent child. The induvidual has the capability to eliminate the self, but no two induviduals can counter the self in the same way. (The exact reason to why two astral travels are never alike). We need to work on our own path.

We buy a particular book, read a particular article, keep track of a particular blog to keep the "self" fulfilled that the induvidual is satisfied with this outlook of the world being presented, but the induvidual never got a chance to grow beyond 5. The induvidual needs to be brought out of it's cavern of solace. The induvidual needs to draw out that final sword in it's enemy, to cut out it's self.

The other day I was talking to a friend and the same ranting continued, "dude, I can't score marks."

"Leave that be, what would you do of marks anyway? We only need to get through this class. For a college, there's always the ol' faithful board."

"But my parents have expectations."

"And what about you?"

"Me too, obviously!"

"Then why did you highlight your parents' before your own?"

My friend is silent. I go a step further asking,

"Moreover, why do you expect?"

"Because I have the caliber."

"Then why didn't it come out by now?"

My friend doesn't like this attack. The ego of this self has been hurt. Now, here's the best way to identify this self: the induvidual has a rage; the self has an anger, the induvidual has a sexuality; the self has a perversion, the induvidual can't even cross the road without being awestruck and appreciating the miracle of life; the self won't mind stepping on a bug or two...

I can't really help people in the process of fighting with the self. This is something that only they can do. I can only be Pester John's mirror, reflecting upon them. At the end of it what I have to say is, don't be this or that or any of your rants. Just be. The process of being is the prime supremacy, the surrender, the suspension of self followed by an even longer and harder process of elimination. At the and of it, you will realise that it's not "I am with me" or "I am for me". It is that "I am." No trail of dots, no trail of thoughts and no absurd words, I am.

Peace out!

-Neetzi

P.S. Desperately wanting to do a crazy experiment with the blog, could use suggestions.

The Raising Darts

Of course, student life is one point of time which is the best to enjoy. Probably because we have no tension of earning a living, making ends meet, no security or anything as such. BUT it is also the most sickishly annoying time of life. Especially when the results are over head. Now, this season is all about result related jokes, subject requirement, requirement of the subject requirement and so on.

India is ALL about doctors and engineers. So it's always science. Medical or Non-medical. Oh and another option is Commerce. These are majority options. Actually most students opting for Non-medical end up getting a corporate job, hence, not making any contribution to the world of science.

A friend of mine sent me a few (actually a lot) result related pathetic jokes regarding the deadly six letter word is dreaded in every student's life: RESULT and that's the education system based on. Fear, mug up, diarrhoea and constipation.

Now that the deadly days are closing in by and the nights are getting restless, doomsday is near and so are the darts rising. On the students' head is an apple. Everyone have darts in their hands and are aiming for it. Let's see who survives.

Best of luck for the result. =) Be happy guys, some of us are going to the new class and some are getting the nostalgic nausea of the same old classroom. Nah! We all would do good.

I don't fear the result. Actually, what happens is that many of the students who fail, or are not able to get admission at a particular school/college, or get a particular subject commit suicides. And the most common method is by hanging. I fear of their death. Just a letter (though till last year, a number) is all it takes to differenciate life and death now.

I don't honestly care of my result. If I do good, obviously Non-medical (I do not intend a job in engineering or some such to be precise!) and if not that I'd take Humanities (I could make it as a writer or a comic actress at least). I know totally complex. However, I do NOT intend to be a corporate and/or work 9 to 5 in the same pathetic office under the same ugly boss on the same desk with the same machine. I want to make my living, but only for my two time bread and butter.

Whatever, fail or pass, there's always a tomorrow. Just we got to live to see it.

Peace!
-Neetz

The Developed Cannibal

chash-e-nam jaan-e-shorida kaafi nahi
tohmat-e-ishq-e-poshida baqi nahi
aaj bazaar mein paa baajola chalo

These words are from one of my favorite poems by one of my favorite authors, Faiz. In simple english, these words mean

moist eyes, sacrificed lives aren't enough
the love nurtured privately isn't enough
today walk in the town square fettered in chains

Maybe Faiz saw it before us. As many say, this was written by Faiz on the condition of Pakistan when democracy was disembled. Faiz, on the contrary, was a communist. In my view, Faiz, from this poem, predicted our lives today. We all are prisoners in the drape of a free citizens. What is law but imprisoner of self will? We need laws, only if we are vulnerable to others. So what makes them say that the laws are sufficient?

Today, the Times of India, one of the leading newspapers, says that US president Barrack Obama has given a nod to the missile which can hit anywhere from anywhere in one hour, even at an altitude above 350,000 ft! Don't we have enough destruction machines? Yes, the modern day free citizens are all walking fettered in chains with fascist rulers blind as justice itself (as many say in hindi, Andha kanoon or blind justice).

Although the Thinking Tree suppliment yesterday, says that "testosterone" hormone is responisble for wars. Well, that person HAS to witness something called back "bitching" and "cat fights" if that person is too obsessed with "dog wars". No gender particularly is to blame. HUMANITY has lost it's value for human rights (as if it had any).

Comming back to the one hour missile, what's the guarantee that only Osama will be killed? I mean, it could strike anywhere and maybe kill someone innocent.

Nazis were German, and Einstein was German. Does that have to mean that Einstein was a Nazi? Well, destroying the whole race of Pashtun speaking people doesn't have to mean all the terrorists were killed.

Maybe this weapon of mass destruction isn't such a bad idea. Maybe it will kill Osama. Then what? Our great world leaders would successfully save us from terrorism, with nothing else to do. Or maybe they'll bread another Osama for their little "hunt" and push over their nuclear experts to design some more "mordern" weapons and finally when they'll be tired of this, they'll start a war.

The truth is Homo sapiens can NEVER get enough. We enjoy others' miseries as it makes us feel that we're in a much better position.

First the human tribes fought with animals of the wild, displacing them, causing extinction. Mother nature also gave them a bit support and gave them control of the world. Now they are showing their "human" nature and fighting withing their own species for a better space and an upper hand. Mother nature was wrong. Even with our stomach fill, with our skins covered, with a roof over our head, we can NEVER be in harmony with all around us.

Rare species are still being hunt/poached killed, Human traficking still going on, victims of domestic violence, other violence, drug abuse, sex abuse are still demanding justice, wars still going on, leaders still manipulating public, people still commit suicides, and the circus goes on with one, but one ring master in the middle leading us through. We are still unaware of the spectators.

Stephen Hawkings, one of the world's leading scientist has proposed that aliens exist and might be among us. Maybe they enjoy the human circus of mordernised cannibalism.

Inorder to convince myself, that this moment, I am leading a happy life knowing that all my loved ones are safely alive and those who are not are at a better place than here,

Peace!

-Neetzi

Law of club and fang

Before reading, the following equations have some relevance. That is, IF you chose to read.


Creatures. Alive. Fang. Savage. Club. Human.

Arranging in a proper sequence to equate it,

Creatures= Alive

Fang= Savage

Club= Human

Human+Savage=ADVANTAGE of Club over Fang.


After reading Call of the wild, a savage, however tamed or trained, doesn't belong to us. In the end it is called by wild. The thought process around London is that he himself has been away from the society almost all his life. He knew the human society, "law" and the inorder of order. Yet he chose to be away.

Not my inspiration, I don't own anything. Maybe that's why somewhere, I am the indirect reason for this law.

Embarrassment fell on Buck with his first snow. 'Tis purely Jack London. No other man can ever put something so trivial in such an exactly real and free manner. The evolved savage, and the mechanised cannibals need to know a lot. Firstly, chosing "Buck" as the hero of the story... hats off to him.

They often mention Darwin, Survival of the fittest. But they often do forget the law of artificial selection.

Maybe, we too are often called by the wild. Maybe, there's a Buck in all of us.

Yours Truly,
Neetzi